Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
