I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
