Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
