she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
