i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
