People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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