White coat. Heels.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
