Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
