Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
