Hey man sorry I got all grabby
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
