Quick, to the slutcave!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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