I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize