I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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