I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
