the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
