I just made out with a guy for $7.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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