The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
