If i come over, it means nothing
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my being single is dangerous.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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