Nicole vs. Life
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
