I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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