she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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