oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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