I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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