Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
