i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize