Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
