Where is the hickey?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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