I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
