I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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