It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
