Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
