We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
