Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
