I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
