I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize