so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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