My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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