I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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