When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
