Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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