fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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