They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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