It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
