I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
