Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
