just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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