I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
