I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
