dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
