What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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