i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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