Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
