i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
