Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize