So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
