Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
