My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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