two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
