Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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