i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
