can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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