I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
