i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
