But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
