addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
