i permit you to call me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
