No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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