My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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