So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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