Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
