is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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