just come out here and I will go home with you...
they need to just BURY HIM!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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