I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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