I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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