That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
