hell yes lets make some ravioli
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
