i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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