Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
